When it comes, the Landscape listens —
Shadows — hold their breath —
–Emily Dickinson
Like Men and Women Shadows walk —
Upon the Hills Today —
–Emily Dickinson
Every picture has its shadows
And it has some source of light
Blindness, blindness and sight
–Joni Mitchell
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale,
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
–William Shakespeare’s Macbeth
Hunting chukar is a privilege, a hobby. Nobody hunts chukar because they must. If your life depended on it, even if you shot 100%, you’d die of malnutrition. Calorically, it’s way less than a zero sum game. On this 95th anniversary of Black Tuesday, that’s food for thought.
I started this blog about 15 years ago, after I’d lost my job and had more time on my hands. My first chukar hunt happened ten years earlier, in the fall of 2000, thanks to the generous father of a co-worker. He and his Lab had picked me up in the dark in his Bronco, never having met me or my puppy Glenna, and drove about an hour outside of Boise. He’d told me to bring waders. We linked arms, started across the swift river, hoped the dogs would figure it out, ditched the waders on the opposite bank, changed into our boots, and headed uphill. My youthful enthusiasm and Glenna’s natural ability impressed him, but we never went with Rich again. I’m not sure why. I think I got one bird that day. But, as I’ve written about before, Glenna — for whatever reason, probably my fault — began hunting too much for herself and diminished my desire to chase birds.
I started really becoming obsessed with this privilege when I moved to Cambridge in the summer of 2012. It served to stabilize me through the first several years of my new teaching career there, and soon became my favorite thing in the world. Even though my first glimpse of Cambridge was colored by the pawn shop’s astonishing storefront, lowlighting the deplorable ‘Murica mentality of its owner (who’d been the high school art teacher before the district cut the art classes because of Idaho’s deliberate underfunding of public education), being able to go hunting after school and on the long weekends (ours was a four-day school) really helped me to develop a stability and contentment there. And as teaching became easier and more fulfilling, so did chukar hunting. Funny how that works.
So my first four seasons there became more and more joyous. My youngest group of students had become seniors, and in the spring of 2016 they asked me to give the Commencement address, an honor which moved me tremendously. But in November 2016 the shadows started becoming more of a factor, darkening the landscape. It took awhile to notice. Incredulousness played a big part. Teaching critical thinking skills seemed increasingly important, but began taking a toll on my demeanor. When I refused to answer a question about the recent election, one of my best students said, “I’ve been waiting since kindergarten for a new president but I didn’t want this one!” Not by nature a tongue-holder, saying nothing about any of this at school took more out of me than I’ll ever know. By 2018 I realized I’d transitioned from a merely negative person to a constantly angry person. It’s been a while now. Nearly ten years of watching the normalization of hatred and division, the disrespect for the rule of law, and now the threat of a complete dismantling and destruction of this country’s admittedly flawed but hopeful foundation looms so large for me and tens of millions of others that every day every thing is laced or suffused with dread. Including this privilege of walking around public land (who knows how long that’ll last) searching for game birds with my dogs and wife.
So it would feel ignorantly irresponsible of me not to say that I’m voting for Kamala Harris and to encourage everyone I know to do the same. Actually, I voted early. It was easy for me. I know it’s not for many. As I’ve written here and elsewhere, strong women have been a formative part of my life from its beginning. This shouldn’t strike anyone as irrelevant to this blog: it’s been a satisfying impossibility for me to separate chukar hunting from everything else and vice versa. Worry, dread, shadows all play their part at some point in every outing; the ups and downs of any hunt reflect life in reassuring ways. But when those dark things spread so opaquely over everything they demand all of my attention, paralyzingly so. The thing that saved this country in the fallout from Black Tuesday, after so many people died and suffered needlessly for years because of the un-democratic power and greed of a few, was FDR’s New Deal, which is the model for what Biden’s done to rescue the economy from his predecessor’s grift and graft. Harris, obviously, will build on that success if she wins. But there’s more to this than just “the economy, stupid.” Obviously. There’s the abyss, which is always all shadow.
Stupidity is one thing. Ignorance is another, and it is truly deplorable. Our dogs and the birds we chase, god love them, are stupid, but their instincts — at least on this playing field — are smarter by far than ours. Their lacking of the anatomy that makes us intelligent is the basis for our love of them: dogs, for one, can only do what’s right and good. Ignorance, on the other hand, is having the ability to know the difference between right and wrong and choosing not to give a shit, choosing not to pay attention. There is only one right choice out of the two we have for who leads this country. The wrong choice is simply, obviously, wilfully ignorant. I know there are many who think, like Macbeth, that it doesn’t matter. Even a smarter writer like Emily Dickinson thought that
Diadems – drop –
And Doges surrender –
Soundless as Dots,
On a Disk of Snow
but I like to think she wasn’t as serious about that as she was about shadows holding their breath. I’m holding mine. Don’t be ignorant. Do the right thing.
As always I enjoy and appreciate your writing. It is hard to understand how so many can choose the alternative to Harris, but I wonder if you feel things a little to strongly. If she loses it will be a difficult four years but the country will live through it.
Guilty as charged, and I appreciate your comment!
I’ve enjoyed the hunting exploits over the years. Chasing birds is not about partisan politics. Your brand is now too tarnished to enjoy.
Good bye & good luck.
Much appreciated, Steve.
Bob: Let me begin by conceding I have enjoyed your ramblings about chukar hunting for years. I am 72 and still make an occasional solo foray into the field. But your last post has me more than a little concerned. I have absolutely no intention of voting for Harris and being called “ignorant” is certainly disturbing. BTW – I will not be voting for Trump either. Bruce
Thanks for your comment, Bruce.
In a different era, Idaho elected Frank Church, a Democrat who played a key role in securing funds for the three dams and reservoirs that transformed Hells Canyon. Thanks to his efforts, it became a recreational haven, a source of power, and—let’s be honest—a better destination for chukar hunting for folks like you and me and our dogs. The salmon? They paid the price.
Senator Church also helped pass civil rights legislation as a moderate voice, championing the American Dream of equality—that no one is inherently better or worse than anyone else. But then, along came apple farmer Steve Symms, who took “a big bite out of government,” and Church was defeated. Since then, apart from Governor Andrus, no Democrat has won state-wide or national office in Idaho.
Once a conservative but balanced state, Idaho was a place where an Andrus or a Church could win if the stars aligned. Not anymore.
Trump? This isn’t the Idaho I knew in my youth. Now it’s a one-party state. Think of one-party regimes from history. You know the list. Look in the mirror. Then weep. Then vote. And when you’re up in the highest reaches of Hell’s Canyon chasing those devil birds, maybe give a nod to a Democrat or two. Just sayin’.
Thanks, Mark. I hadn’t yet become an Idahoan when Church or Andrus worked for the state (but I did stand next to Andrus at the airport in Boise once, marveling at how tall he was). The GOP’s bald-faced lies about wanting to do away with government regulation while making sure government prevents women and the poor and lots of other “types” of people from living an equality-based life is sickening.
Very well stated. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed.
Thank you, Cliff! Me too!
It takes guts to put yourself out there like that. You’re an intelligent man and realize this will hurt your viewership. Not from me, I respect you all the more.
Much appreciated, Randy. Thanks.
Extremely well stated Bob. I’ve been a lifelong gun owing hunting liberal and I also cast my vote early for the Harris Walz ticket. We used to be able to vote on issues and not the party but unfortunately the republican party is not the party it once was…and i feel i would be generous is saying it was even a mere shadow of what it once was. It has become the party of racism, hate, fascism, and violence …even if you’ve had your head in the sand since Trump was first elected in ‘16 it’s hard to make an argument after watching or reading about his most recent rally in Madison Square Garden. My opinion of ANY Trump supporter now is if you vote for him you stand for hate and you are a fascist, racist, bigot (…and the list goes on). In my opinion you can’t even make the Trump argument on the economy since he basically rode the coattails of Obama’s economy. Anyway, appreciate you sharing.
Thanks, Dun. I wish we could go back to the “good old days” of arguing about policy while still agreeing that democracy was the foundational idea worth protecting here. Citizens United ended all that but I doubt I’ll ever see it overturned, especially with what’s happened to SCOTUS. I met a retired philosophy professor the other night. He said he avoids the news like the plague, and has never been happier. Not sure I could do that, but it’s worth thinking about.
Thanks for sharing. I really liked this article. As a long time republican, I’ll be doing the “right thing” come Election Day. Harris is absolutely the right choice this year.
Thanks for your comment, John.
Bob, let me start off stating that I have enjoyed your site and posts over the past several years. I respect your intelligence and passion for chukar hunting. Now to the sad stuff… NOT chukar hunting also. Our country is so divided and at each other, that we have lost all civility and manners. It is troubling that you took your platform and went political. Chukar hunting for me, and I would imagine a lot of our audience, is an escape from that BS that is on every news, social media, paper in the country now. I feel that you, much like actors or sports figures, should stick with your areas of expertise. Don’t use your fame to influence your own personal political views. Write another review on chukar hunting equipment, talk about your beloved dogs, your lovely wife and her successes while in the field. That is why I continue to return to your website. Not who you are voting for and why you’re voting for them. Obviously I disagree with your choice on who you are voting for… but I respect your right to vote for whomever you want. Just know that roughly half of this country feels the opposite of that. I would guess that 100 % of the readers would rather talk about Chukar stuff, not political stuff. Good luck with the rest of the Chukar season, I hope you get into them often!
Phil Condon
Thanks for your comment, Phil. I too have enjoyed corresponding with you over the past several years. A few things, though: first, sometimes we need to do things we feel morally obligated to do even though they might be unpopular with some, and this post was the first one out of 335 posts on this blog where I directly address political matters, even though anyone reading the blog should not be surprised to know that I have always believed that everything is political. Second, I don’t brag about my educational background, but since you mentioned my “areas of expertise,” I’ll just say that I hold an Ivy League doctorate in American Civilization and was a professor of American History at several universities, so even though I wouldn’t say I’m an expert I will say that I know what I’m talking about when I comment on American politics. Finally, it wasn’t an easy decision for me to make my thoughts about the election public, but this blog is mine and I’ll ultimately make the decisions about what gets posted here, which includes comments from readers. I appreciate hearing from anyone who has something to say about what I’ve written, and have learned a lot from readers who disagree with me on things. But I won’t give any light to comments that are not civil. Yours always are (including this one), and I have greatly appreciated that.
Bob. I just got back from a twelve day excursion chasing chukars. It was such a wonderful trip, even though it whipped my butt as well as my dogs. I was excited to see your blog and see what you had to say about this great season we are having. Instead I got what I go to the hills to avoid. Politics. Like a few other comments have mentioned, I was very disappointed. Not just because I don’t feel the same but because chukar talk to me has nothing to do with this b.s. So I too will be saying good bye and wish you well on your season.
Thanks for your comment, Larry. Good luck to you, too. I will say, though, that we both go to the hills to take our minds off of everything except working with dogs in pursuit of birds. Living where I live, though, as you of course know, on the way to those hills I drive past countless signs and flags supporting a candidate I believe will destroy this country. In the 12 years I’ve lived here I’ve seen exactly one sign supporting a candidate I do support. One. There are more of “us” than you might think in rural Idaho, but we know that advertising with a political sign of our “flavor” — whether it’s on our rig or our property — would likely lead to property damage or worse. Finally, I’ll remind you that the one time I met you in person, down at Woodhead Campground during chukar season years ago, you and your wife both had the Nike swoosh stripe taped over on your sweatshirts, like a lot of people did at the time protesting Colin Kaepernick’s “taking a knee.” So we all feel we need to make our feelings and opinions known from time to time. I can’t post a political sign or put a bumper sticker on my Ram, but I can say something about it on my own blog. Unlike you, I don’t have many other options to express my opinion.
Bob, if readers thought this blog was strictly about Chukar hunting, maybe they haven’t really read it. For me, it’s been more Chukar-adjacent, and I like that. At times, I’ve felt unsure of where I belong in today’s political landscape—though I know where I don’t. There’s no need to list all the disturbing things associated with DJT or the GOP’s denial of them. If those issues aren’t repugnant on their face, it feels like we’re speaking two different languages. It’s hard for me to reconcile the support for DJT and the people I have known for years, and I don’t want to perpetuate ill will or hate. Let’s just hope it’s not the end of America, as both sides claim if the other wins.
And I agree, your blog, you can write what you like.
Honestly, Jeff, I appreciate your comment more than you know. As much as anyone, you’ve responded so thoughtfully for so long that I’ve come to value your input as much as anyone’s. Not knowing you well, however, one of my biggest worries about losing readers centered on you. I guess that’s as good as any testimony to how un-central electoral politics has been to this blog (until now; and my hope and intention is for that to be a true one-off). And I couldn’t agree more about not wanting to “perpetuate ill will or hate.” But, as you also say (which is one reason I’ve appreciated your engagement so much), this blog indeed has not been for a very long time “strictly about chukar hunting.” Leslie suggested the “Culture” in the title knowing me better than I know myself, so that’s that. And I don’t plan to talk explicitly again about the election or politics or DJT, but I can’t say for certain I won’t. I’m hoping, rather, to get back to some of the things that pull me to the hills and birds and dogs, and about some of the fiction I’ve been writing (with some success) that uses chukar hunting as a springboard (remote as it is). I’m also close to finishing a memoir about the past dozen or so years, so hopefully there’ll be some things to say about that here as well. Anyway, your comment is much appreciated and affords me an unexpected big dollop of relief. Thanks.
Sign me up for the memoir and the fiction. I enjoy your and Leslie’s writing.
I appreciate your bravery in expressing your views so publicly. Crazy that one must be brave to share their opinion on their own blog. I echo Jeff/Snyder’s thinking that chukar culture is a lens that colors the words you write, but is not usually the at the heart of the sentiments you express. Also like Jeff/Snyder, I enjoy this blog and look forward to reading about life’s nuance with chukar hills, dogs and birds setting the scene- sign me up for the memoir and fiction too.
Thanks, Zach. I appreciate you taking the time to write. And thanks for reading.
As a lifelong Idaho local, outdoorsman, and relatively new chukar hunter, I have to tell you how much I appreciate your commentary on the state of things. Of course I am replying post election, and some of the feelings of despair have worn off. Like you I felt the choice was clear but am now dealing with crushing disappointment. It’s comforting to know that while we do climb hills to escape from our day to day worries and stresses, there are other people out there who feel the same as I do. We may present as MAGA but don’t have the luxury to make our true feelings know for fear of the consequences you’ve alluded to in replies above. Your writing here is as compelling as ever, and I have to echo another reply that this blog has always been more than chukar by my assessment. Keep writing. Keep fighting the good fight. Keep climbing high only to watch them fly back down. Maybe one day people will return to voting for policy over personality that emboldens them to be the worst versions of themselves. Maybe one day they’ll also respect differing opinions, seek common ground, and continue to read great writing despite the difference in political leanings. Or maybe they’ll feel the impact of what they’ve chosen when access to great hunting grounds are sold off to the highest bidders for extractive industry in the name of “owning the libs”.
Thanks for your comment, Jens. It’s comforting to me to know you’re out there, too. Yes, I’m still hopeful despite those, as you so eloquently put it, emboldened “to be the worst versions of themselves.” I got a text from a “friend” on Nov. 6th, who lives here in MAGALand, with a bunch of gloating memes, racist, sexist, and ageist. “Just rubbing it in, LOL,” he wrote. Check. He had to have known I was upset (he doesn’t read my blog, or anything else as far as I can tell). He left California a couple years ago because he got sick of being surrounded by “libtards.” But I’m sure he’d tell me, if I responded (I didn’t and won’t), “Oh, come on, everyone needs to lighten up and laugh at themselves.” It’s hard to know what the “good fight” is anymore.